Mr Regiment 2010

I am at a loss for words.  A year has come and gone.  And what a year it's been.  So much has happened.  And I have changed quite a bit.  There are things that are the same and things that are almost unrecognizable.

One thing I am certain of...this will go down for me as one of the most amazing years in my life.  I had been very reticent to even run for the title of Mr Regiment.  A long time ago in a country far far away (also known as San Francisco, 1996-ish), I ran for Leather Daddy's boy.  Loren and I had just met, he had just won Leather Daddy, and wanting to prove myself, I ran - even though I was terrified of competing.  And I came in first runner up.  I was disappointed in not having won, but not so much that when the contest rolled around the following year, I ran again.  And...once again, I came in 1st runner up.  I was really hurt by that. I was surprised how much so.  I vowed I was never going to run for another contest.

As I moved from 30 to 35.  And from 35 on to 40, Loren constantly would tell me how with each year I get more handsome and more confident.  I realized at age 40, that the experience of being a titleholder was one of those 'stories' that I didn't want to get to the end of my life and regret not having shot for.  I decided that the time was right.

Loren's and my relationship has grown and changed over the years, and we both realized that I needed an opportunity to be more than simply his boy. He encouraged me to run if I wanted to, and that he would support me with however I wanted to pursue it.

I looked at the various titles in the Los Angeles Leather series and decided very quickly on the Mr Regiment title to run for.  I was a member of the California B&B, so I already had an affinity got uniforms, and given the different personalities of the different titles, I felt that Mr Regiment would be a good fit.  Upstanding, clean cut, but with an irreverent, mischievous, 'you can take me home to mother, just don't tell her what we did last night' sort of title.  And, I figured, if I lost, I would have a few months to get over it before I could try for another one as a fallback.  Although I knew...given my past, if I hadn't won, I probably would not have.

I have two key memories of competing for Mr Regiment 2009.  The first was finding out as I was dressing for the Formal Wear section (first part) that we would have to give a 90 second speech.  I had been surprised that I wasn't going to have to given the contestant notes made no mention of a speech, so I hadn't prepared anything.

With literally 90 seconds notice I headed out on stage for formal wear and my spontaneously generated commentary on fetish, gear, and bringing sex back into our public events.

I have always had a fear of public speaking, and stage fright as well, but somehow, I started talking and just simply addressed the audience.  And...I felt good doing it - that or the adrenaline had me loopy LOL.

The other memorable moment was the final section - the jockstrap portion.  Loren got me nicely fluffed backstage, and being the rubber perve that I am, we put about 15 silicone o-rings around my cock and balls.  I was so hard I couldn't get my codpiece snapped down.  I went out on stage and worked the stage while Mike Gerle (our emcee and IML 2007) read my fantasy.  As he got toward the end, I yanked off my codpiece entirely and sprang forth with well...enthusiasm.  There is nothing quite so memorable as leaving either an emcee or an IML speechless, during a public event.  Mike picked back up and said without too much of a break "This is my absolute favorite contest ever."

As is probably apparent from the title of this blog...I did win Mr Regiment.

My experience as Mr Regiment has entailed continuing to be involved in various club activities, preparing for Los Angeles Leather, helping with various fundraising events, being visible and supportive and other events, taking on the challenge of organizing, producing events of my own and one of my favorite activities (even though it's one of the hardest for me) reaching out to those who have yet to become knit into the fabric of our community.

For me, having this title has offered me the opportunity, the role, which made it easier for me to break out of my shell, enjoy being more visible, it helped me discover my sexy playful side, and share it with others, it helped me learn how to ask others for help (something I still have a hard time doing), it made it easier for me to realize that I have a place in this community not just for now, but for the future, and tha I can make of that what I will.

Some things are not unlike they were a year ago.  I am still fiercely loyal to my husband Loren; I am still involved in a variety of activities for a variety of clubs (I still have trouble saying no); I am still not very aggressive about seeking out sexual play, but still very mischievous when I find it. I still don't enjoy self-promotion and I still have a hard time volunteering as much as I think I ought to.

I have made friends I might never have met otherwise.  I have deepened relationships with people who might never have been more than acquaintances.  I have learned that sometime people really do want to hear what I have to say and really enjoy seeing photos of me dressed up or dressed down - and I've learned to enjoy that appreciation, but not to drown in it or become self-absorbed.  I have shared what skills I have with those who have asked me to, and I have opened myself to being more open to asking others to share what they know with me.

I know at this point I have gone on way too long but it is my soap box, and you're not chained down, although I would definitely get into it if you were ;-) So just a wee bit more.

As I said above, my focus this year has been on bringing kink and fetish back to the surface.  I hope that in your interactions with me, you've been turned on, whether by me, by my gear, or by my playfulness is fine by me.  Heaven knows I've been turned on by you, your gear, and your playfulness.  We are leathermen and leatherwomen or as I prefer - kinkmen and kinkwomen.  Next time you head out to a bar, club, or event (or heck, even to the movies) wear your kink!  Put on some leather pants, weat tall boots to work, bring a flogger to the movies.  Make people raise their eyebrows, ask questions, take notice of you. 

Have some fun, treat people well, do good deeds, and live today like it's a precious gift.

Thank you to the many people who have been especially supportive and encouraging this past year.  I have more to say to you elsewhere and elsewhen.


Brad Taylor was selected as Mr Regiment 2010 on November 13, 2009.  I wish him as wonderful a year ahead as mine has been behind and will do everything in my power to ensure that it is.

With gratitude, appreciation, and humility,
Alex Lindsay
Mr Regiment 2009
American Leatherman 2009

A weekend Home-ish

Friday Night

SoCal Bondage Club

The SoCal Bondage Club monthly meeting and party was friday night. We had a great turnout. I took the first shift as Dungeon Monitor. Lots of play going on, good music, some socializing, but nobody intruding on scenes. A hot suspension scene from the metal scaffolding using the powered winches.
Loren had a bondage buddy of ours in our leather straitjacket and hood, and we put the metal chastity cage on him, much to his frustration and delight. I then discovered that he was in a particularly ticklish state of being, which I couldn't help but take advantage of. If there's one thing I've discovered in the past year, it's that I am a relentless tickling top. I really get off on how much is makes a guy tied up in bondage squirm and squeal. Anything ranging from the very delicate stroking of the inside of one's thighs to the alternating between sides of the neck with a poking touch to the full on rib-tickle assault it's all good.

Saturday night

We got down to San Diego with a few hours to spare.  We decided rather than driving down and back, that we'd make a mini trip out of it.  Loren looked for an inexpensive option for a hotel room near Hillcrest. He ran across the Sunburst Court Inn, which was rather convenient and quite inexpensive.  Apparently it had been an apartment building in a previous life.  The room was spacious, with 1 bedroom with a king size bed, large bath, dining area, living room, and full kitchen.

Martinis Above Fourth

We arrived a few hours before the event, so that we'd be able to get in dinner and an 'adult bevvie' to start the evening off nicely.  Lor did a search for 'martini food hillcrest' and out popped Martinis Above Fourth. I had a vodka Lime Drop and Loren tried a gin martini with muddled cucumber.  The martinis are definitely worth the awards they've received.
We decided to have a bite to eat at the bar - a delicious beef carpaccio, and a dreadfully sinful take on mac n' cheese - penne pasta swimming in cheese in a baking dish which was about a thousand degrees centigrade.  We had finished our drinks before we were done eating, so we shared a dessert martini - a TangerTini - yummy! and chatted with the owner of the bar and a couple of the bartenders.
Dave, the owner, was really cool, and very friendly - we chatted about the restaurant experience, and some of his experiments with martini tasters and such like, and we learned that he's a member of a triad relationship.  One which has been going on for about 15 years!  I was amazed and intrigued.  A fascinating story, and another example of a stable poly relationship.  Still not something I'll rush into, but still something we're open to if it happens down the line...

We also enjoyed talking to Khara behind the bar, who's not been in San Diego for that long.  After a lot of arm twisting and cajoling, we talked her into meeting us at the Hole for the event later.  By the way, the iPhone camera is not to be relied on for taking photos in bars.  Ever.  The photo on the right is what I had to settle for after a fair amount of playing with it in the GIMP.  I just don't have the time to do more.  Except remember to bring the camera...with the flash...

The Butch Revue

The Butch Revue has been produced for the past 12 years by Annie Romano of San Diego.  At American Brotherhood Weekend, I asked each of the judges if there was a particular event that they would like to see me at.  Annie told me about the Butch Revue at that point, and it was my first official commitment as ALM to come down to San Diego for it.  It's a typical revue, with comedy, singing, and lip syncing, which we had the expectation of being performed by Drag Kings. Not all the performers were Drag Kings, but the event was no less fun and enjoyable for it.

Annie's already said that next year's event will be a particularly special one as it's the 13th one for her, and she has a special love for the number 13.  So stay tuned and be ready for another fun night this time next year.

Sunday

California B&B Hangout at the Bullet

This week was the 41st anniversary of the California B&B and it commenced with a get together and hang out at the Bullet in North Hollywood.
The Bullet offered up a Sunday feast of hamburgers, hot dogs, beer, booze and boys to serve as a great place for a great bunch of guys (and a couple of friends of guys-aka women) to hang out in uniform or just hang out.
It was a really fun and relaxing end to a great weekend.

Leather is as Leather Does or is it...?

This month brought to mind one of the questions that I find my self pondering now and again. Which leather is it anyway? We talk about leather-thegear, and we talk about leather-the community, and the two are not always in sync with one another.
Why this month? Because I had the pleasure of participating in one and coproducing another rubber event. On two adjacent weekends, the Hotlanta Rubber Group and West Coast Rubber offered the Mister Southeast Rubber/Hotlanta Rubberman in Atlanta and the West Coast Rubber weekend in Los Angeles. If you haven't tried playing in rubber, you really ought to. It's one of the sexiest things you can wear, and whatever your body type, it will only make you look better, and feel better. Whether you like tight gear, or loose, there is rubber gear that will fit you the way you want your sextire to fit. It is just simply hot hot hot!
Do I sound like a rubberman to you? It's funny, at each of the contests I have run for Mr. Regiment, Los Angeles Leather, and American Leatherman, I was asked effectively the same question: "Are you a leatherman or a rubberman?" This is the source of the questions I asked above. Why must I be either? If the leather community is defined by what we wear and that requires leather gear, are people who wear denim included or excluded? It's interesting how people will talk about inclusiveness in the leather community until they meet someone who wears a different fetish.
As it happens, I am involved in organizations that gear themselves toward no less than five different fetishes/kinks: leather, bondage, bdsm, rubber, uniforms. Am I not a Leatherman because I have these various interests? Then why ask me if I am one at a contest. It's also interesting that we have many who define Leather as including these various kinks, but then gasp if you should express them in the context of a leather contest. Can International Mister Leather ONLY wear leather? Can American Leatherman never wear a uniform?
It's particularly interesting that we seem, as a community to make exceptions for uniforms, and not perceive them as less Leathery than leather, yet, should someone wear a rubber uniform in a leather contest, he or she is immediately disregarded as not being appropriately attired.
My personal opinion is that we shouldn't be talking about the 'leather' community. It has too many constraints which inhibit its reasonable use. It is often perceived as referring only to gay men, frequently not including women in the process. It often excludes those who have other gear fetish pleasures. And, it often creates a wall between those who are BDSM players from those who are simply into gear sex.
This is why I created OpenKink with no specific reference to leather or any other kind of gear or specific type of activity. Kink generally does not have a close association with sexual orientation, and it embraces gear and play together and separately.
Is a bar a leather bar if all the patrons are in jeans and t-shirts? Is a man a leatherman if he never wears leather but throws the wickedest whip west of Wyoming?
Think about it...

First Travel Story...

So, I was in a frenzy yesterday and today getting things straightened out so that I could head out of town for my first trip out of the LA area as ALM09. I'm headed off to Atlanta for the beginning of a couple of weeks of rubbery goodness with the Mr SouthEast Rubber weekend this weekend and contest and then back here in Los Angeles for the West Coast Rubber event and contest next weekend.

Anyhow, so I got my code pretty stable on our development and staging servers (yeah, geek by profession). In a frenzy of packing late last evening/this morning (thank you to my savior and husband, Loren) I managed to get out the door, get to the office (since today had to be the day I got the email saying my email inbox was full, and I wasn't able to log on to my work computer remotely to empty it) and get to Burbank airport with just over 45 minutes to spare. I got my bag checked - 50.0 pounds exactly (Woo hoo) and just after grabbing my mentos for the flight discovered that they had started boarding.

I got on the plane, and wandered all the way to the next to last row for my window seat, only to discover that in the row right in front of me is a woman with a small child and a lap-toddler. Both of the kids are somewhat restless, but not too bad. The young boy wants to sit in another row by himself. The flight attendant informs the woman that if the baby is going to sit in her lap she needs to sit on the other side of the plane because they have three oxygen masks over the two seats rather than just two like on the left side of the plane (this is something I had never thought about before). So they move to the other side. As they do so, I discover they guy who was about to sit there (now sitting in front of me) has a small dog in a carrier with him. Oh goody...

The plane is just about full, the flight attendant tells the boy that he can sit next to her if he likes. On comes the captain, indicating that we need to close all of our blinds cause the plane will heat up really quickly, and oh yeah, we're going to start bringing some bags onto the plane, since from a flight balance standpoint the count more under the aircraft than above the wings (I get the physics of it, makes sense, but I'm wondering, ummm why...this isn't exactly a puddle jumper). So, it turns out the runway at atmosphere are just hot enough that we're too heavy for liftoff. Apparently every six bags they can get up above in the overeheads means one less person that will need to be bumped. I think two people volunteered to leave the plane.

I'm sitting there, wondering, "Ummm.... US Airways, guys, it's late August. HOT IS NORMAL! Why did you book the craft so full that you'd have to bump people?" So, this goes on for about 35 minutes. The captain comes on saying that they are going to start strapping luggage into the empty seats. Now I'm thinking, "boy, isn't the picture of modern capitalism at it's finest, let's cram so many people into the craft that we have to dump some, and then shove some luggage in with the people to 'balance the plane'. I can just see someone going back to a third world country saying 'man, in America, they put the baggage with the people'." But seriously, so much for systems intelligence. August = heat = put fewer people in small aircraft = no complaints or delays.

Again, after about 35 minutes of this (it's now 1:12 for our 12:44 departure...clock is ticking on my Phoenix transfer), the captain comes back on the PA and says..."well folks, I know this day isn't turning out to be fun for you..." I could hear the "you know you'll laugh about this at someday" coming, having an inkling of where this is going. Mind you, the hottest time of day is usually between 2 and 3pm in the summer...

He continued "...but, it turns out, after we got all that weight shuffled, we had to check back in with traffic control, and, well, the temperature on the runway went up a degree while we were working. What that means is that, well, we're going to have to take off another 1700 pounds. A woman just getting off the plane has said to me that we're making everybody anxious. Let me tell you folks, we are well within our engineering safety margins for flying, but we need to make sure we have no questions about being able to get up off the runway."

I immediately grabbed my laptop and got up, knowing that they were going to have to bump 8-10 people, and that while they were figuring that out, I was definitely going to miss my connection in Phoenix. Got to the gate agent, adn discovered that the next options out for me is the red eye. But I got a $300 travel voucher.

So here I am, at my desk, at home, working, rather than sitting in Pheonix waiting for a red-eye all by myself.

And when you've got a national or international title, you'll do just about anything for a plane ticket ;-)

A weekend at the bars...

This was a stay-in-town weekend. The weekend kicked off with Loren and me going to the Eagle for his first event as Mr. Golden Leather 2009, Daddy Meat. Dancing go-go daddies, a cigar boy, definitely a busy night for those looking for fun at the Eagle. It was fun seeing him working the title, and me just being there chattin' and socializin'. Although, I did work the door for an hour and a half.

I have to say, as a sidenote, that I really don't like working door at bar events. It's not so bad when it's a cover, although even then sometimes people hassle you. I just am amazed, when you ask for a donation, and people will sort of sniff at you and walk on by. The Eagle is particularly tricky, cause it's not normally a cover, so people aren't used to getting told to pay to enter, rather than being asked to make a contribution. Just one of those things. I keep a smile on my face and keep the energy up.

A good crowd showed up, but was shaken loose a litle early by the DJ announcing repeatedly that parking enforcement was towing cars to start getting things set up for Sunset Junction.

***

Saturday, we managed to sneak in a matinee showing of District 9. I quite enjoyed it. My impression was that it was conceived of as a mashup of Kafka's Metamorphosis set against a documentary peek at apartheid in South Africa using the common element of aliens to tie the two together. Quite well executed, it left me curious to see what they'll do with a sequel. And there'll almost certainly be a sequel.

Saturday night was my monthly event at the Bullet Bar in Norht Hollywood, HAWT GEAR. My goal is to bring back the classic leather bar, with a modern slant. Heavy push on fetish gear, encouraging play in the bar, dark atmosphere, hot porn on the vid, steamy music over the speakers. Michael and Dan at the Bullet have been amazing in supporting the event. I had started it out on a Thursday, because I didn't want to interfere with the regular weekend crowd. After the first month, Michael suggested that he'd be open to moving it to a Saturday if I wanted to do that.

Last night, the crowd was simply amazing. Seriously seriously hot! I can't help but feel like it was exactly the sort of night I was working to put together. Guys from the Bondage Club, Avatar, Band of Brothers, the B&B uniform club, the B&Ts uniform club. Guys from as far as Ventura and Orange County came out. Even a guy visiting from Albuquerque came out in a rubber catsuit—schwing! And gear, gear, gear! Rubber, leather, uniforms, skin gear, even an auto racing pilot suit. Bondage, paddling, chest punching - guys were playing here and there in the bar all evening.

If you came out for it, thank you for being hot and coming out. If you didn't—you missed a helluva fun bar night, and I'll hope to see you next month.

***

Last thought for the evening. A guilty admission. After bar nights and dungeon parties, I, more often than not, stop at Yum Yum donuts with Loren on the way home for a cinnamon roll. That'll have to stop if I don't get back to the gym fast!

An Evening with Guy Baldwin

Yesterday evening I had the pleasure of sitting with the Los Angeles Band of Brothers (and a few special guests) for a Q&A with Guy Baldwin.

Amongst the many words that can be used to describe Mr. Baldwin, one that comes to mind is expansive. Not surprising, given his background in psychology and experience as an author. Guy did not have a simple answer to any question of the evening. And that was a splendid experience. All too often we find ourselves looking for how to say what we mean to express in as few words as possible, often distorting the personality and color of our perspective in the process.

Guy is a consummate raconteur. Each response a stroll through his experience, opinion, philosophy or personal history. I found myself with question after question at the ready, wanting the conversation to continue for far longer than was possible.

From my first question of the evening asking him about when he found himself at his lowest in his relationship with the leather community to the afterchat and book signings, Guy's fluidity matched the voice I've heard over the years in all his writings.

My parting comment to him was a reflection of my experience with running for and winning a title: that there was a time not that long ago when I could never have imagined actually speaking to Guy Baldwin; that with achieving the title (and all the background that is implied in having done so), I not only have had the opportunity to meet him, but have the hope of being able to have a further friendship with him, and have a stronger degree of comfort and hope of being able to someday serve in a similar capacity for a subsequent generation of leathermen.

He expressed to us that it was a special evening for him in that in all the interviews he'd given over the years, he hadn't had the opportunity to have one with a roomful of titleholders. That we are the closest things he has to children.

I hadn't truly realized the extent to which his presence had played a role in my development as a budding leatherman so many years ago until last night, both directly and indirectly.

Staying in touch....

Well...I've always known myself to be a horrible correspondent, and I appear to be batting 1000 with my blog. So, I will, rather than making a big deal about it, simply keep on posting, and work toward making a habit of it.

Beginning at the Middle

It seems appropriate to begin this blog at what can only be described by me as the middle.

Competing for, and winning, the title of American Leatherman has left me feeling that I have drawn a line in my life. Before this experience (and it is larger than simply this weekend), I was a guy, with a past; a member of the leather/kink community. I participated, helped, contributed, but maintained a certain...reticence...about being more active. As I step across the line, I see myself as a man, with a future; still a member of the community, but no longer simply a follower and contributor. I truly feel that I have been transformed.

I know that the contest is as much a symptom of changes I've been going through as it is a source, but either way, it will forever be one of those defining moments in my life.

Even this simple act of putting my thoughts out there in public is a significant change for me. Let's see where this goes... There's certainly more to come.