American Leatherman 2009 - Inside and Out

IML—The Outcome and Ongoing Debate

2010-06-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

I've been asked by a number of people what my impression is of the outcome of IML. It's certainly a popular topic of "discussion" at the moment.

There appear to be a few different perspectives forming around the community with regard to the selection of Tyler as IML. The two I've heard most frequently from other can be categorized as follows:

a) This is a wonderful thing. IML is reflecting the breadth and openness that we hold as ideals of the Leather Community.

b) This is incomprehensible. How can we see Tyler as representing our community. (Sometimes accompanied by snide comments regarding trans-men).

What bothers me about the "discussion" is how easily the opinions run to these endpoints of wonderful or horrible. This is a circumstance, I have said, which provides an opportunity for serious discussion about the nature and values we hold strong in our community. The key word being discussion. I've seen rants and I've heard defensive rebuttals, but not much open discussion.

Here's my three cents, which may cost me far more than that in the long run.

I congratulate Tyler on a wonderful accomplishment. I hope that he will serve admirably as IML, and look forward to spending time with him at events and offline as the year goes forward. Do I consider him to be someone who can fulfill the role of IML? From what I have seen and heard, absolutely. Do I think he was an inappropriate choice for IML? No, I do not.

But.

I am concerned that we have gone from being a community where being in a wheelchair would rule you out from winning IML, to one where we subconsciously overcompensate for people who "have faced or are facing life challenges". I do think that Tyler won in part because he was in a wheelchair. Do I think he would have been in the Top 20 otherwise? Yes, I think he would have made Top 20 regardless. He is well-spoken, genial, has stage presence, certainly must have interviewed well, is passionate...all the sort of qualities we look for in an IML candidate.

But.

I heard the murmurings and discussions regarding Tyler's being F to M after the fact. I've heard tell that the judges were not aware of this. I've heard Tyler's speech and the reference to the challenge of being F-M. I've heard it all. I've heard the points about IML not even having to be gay. My concern is this: to me, IML is a title that is fundamentally about sexuality. Kinky sexuality. We talk about inclusiveness, and the judges are sensitive to this. Clearly so, given the contest results. Not having seen the applications, not having been in the interviews, to the best of my knowledge, the judges weren't aware of Tyler's being F to M until his speech. I do indeed have a problem with nondisclosure. I have a problem with someone serving as leader of our community, with "Trust, Honor, and Respect" as its three most discussed values, if he is not able to Trust the judges with that information, Honor our desire for openness, and Respect the community at large by being upfront about his sexuality and gender identity.

I would make the same remarks about a winner who competes under a pseudonym. I would make the same remarks about a winner who is not out to his or her family while maintaining a relationship with them.

I have no issue with a contestant being F to M. I have no issue with a contestant being straight. I have no issue with a contestant being in a wheelchair.

But — when we as a community and a collection of judges select someone in part because of any of these qualities, and not simply with rational consideration of them, then yes, I have an issue.

Fundamentally, I thought Tyler gave a good speech, but, in my opinion, not the best one. I think it was absolutely in part because he walked out on stage that it was astonishing to the audience. And yes, I suspect the judges scores' reflected this audience amazement, and not just the inherent message of Tyler's speech itself. The cynic in me has to wonder why it is that Tyler only came out without his chair when it came time for his last appearance and speech, if not to elicit an emotional response from the audience and judges. If the judges credited that audience reaction (even before Tyler had begun speaking), then were they not in fact giving credit to Tyler for walking which they would not afford any other contestant?

That may or may not be the case, but I have not heard any open discussion about this concern.

People want to present the two ends of the spectrum as if they are the only options. Saying that the winner must be a 'Tom of Finland' as being the only alternative to Tyler McCormick does a disservice to the dozens of men who are somewhere in between. Saying that either we rule in Tyler or we rule out Tyler does him a disservice.

To close: Tyler won. The judges cast their scores. How we respond to his selection is up to us. I will embrace him and support him. I will challenge those who exclude him or reject him. But...I will be honest about the process and my concerns about overreactions pro and con with any and all...including Tyler.

IML and Barebacking...

2010-05-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Some polls are complicated and some are straightforward. Occasionally they present unexpected surprises and sometimes they confirm preexisting conceptions. The latest poll posed by Leatherati asked the question of whether or not the policy change by IML to bar vendors whose products promote or encourage barebacking would have an impact on the incidence of barebacking within the leather community.

This was one of those polls which I expected to see a strong sense of agreement on.
To a certain degree, my expectation was confirmed. Fully 80% of respondents felt that the policy change would have no effect. 20% indicated that it would in fact help reduce barebacking.

To me, this was actually a bit of a surprise. I expected to see an even greater number of people expressing that there would be no effect. I think this is indicative of a few different things:

There are those who believe that IML is widely known and that there has been significant enough publicity over the organization's decision. They are of a mind that this will have impacted some members of the leather community who do not necessarily bareback as a matter of course and will give second thought to doing so. Not necessarily to abstain completely from barebacking, but perhaps instead to consciously choose whether or not to use condoms.
The visibility of the policy and the amount of talk about it at the vendor market and in the context of the contest itself has sensitized some event attendees. As a result some will choose not to bareback when they may have otherwise at IML itself. This may not have a lasting effect on the amount of barebacking, but it would still be a reduction versus what would otherwise have been going on.
That there are some who will feel strongly enough about this issue that they will not support organizations or events that do support or promote barebacking and that, down the line, this will have some additional effect of turning some guys away from barebacking as a practice.

My feelings about each of these effects, which I think are are reinforced by the overwhelming vote of No on this poll can be described as a slap-in-the-face reaction. The impact of the initial response by Chuck was a harsh one which caused a strong wave of discussion throughout the community. But, like a slap in the face, once the initial shock passes, it leaves not much in the way of lasting impact. Without the reinforcement of repeated exposure and the strength of others following with a similar boycott, Chuck's impassioned stance will be a respected, but silent call to action.

I think that there are many in the community who are leaning toward a more 'be responsible for yourself" attitude. This is more in line with the plan set forth by Dave Watt with his Mr. Friendly campaign. This argument is one less built from a "this is wrong and must not be done" attitude and more from an "understand when and how this is safe or not" frame of mind. I think that yes, there are a lot of men who simply don't care about their status, but that there is an every growing group that plays according to their status.

There are two major forces which confront any action taken to reduce barebacking. One is that there is a perception of "well everyone's infected, aren't they", leading to an assumption that it doesn't matter if one transmits an STD. It also contributes to the feeling of "Well, I'm going to get infected eventually anyway." This combines with the second, base urge. Barebacking feels good. It feels carefree. It feels natural. It feels spontaneous. Choosing not to be concerned about whether or not to use a condom brings with it a degree of liberation about sex that is VERY alluring.

Fundamentally, I think the question about how to reduce barebacking will be answered by no longer needing to be concerned about answering the question.

A little something for your amusement

2010-02-23T17:55:00.000-08:00

Check out the rest of the vid @ Gay Daily Hot.

ALM09 On the Spot - Leatherati Poll: What purpose(s) do leather contests serve?

2010-02-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

Leatherati.com has an ongoing feature of placing a poll on the site on some topic of interest to the community. For me that provides great material for discussing the issues surrounding the poll in question. So, from time to time, when the polls complete, I'll be reviewing the responses, providing my interpretation of the results, some thoughts on the topic and the results, and looking for additional questions to ask to open discussion with the larger community out there.

The latest poll asked the big question "What purpose(s) do leather contests serve?"

First, the facts: there were 140 respondents to the poll. This may seem like a small sample but it is important to consider that nationwide polls attempting to account for the full population often will have a sample on the order of 2000 responses. 140 responses is a very healthy sample set for casual polling.

Each respondent could select up to three choices.

The results, in order by popularity:

Gather the Tribe (53.6%)
Dress Up/Show Off (30.0%)
Honor Our Heritage (27.9%)
Create Leaders (24.3%)
Fundraising (23.6%)
Pump Up Egos (22.9%)
Build Bridges (16.4%)
Bring in Newbies (15.7%)
Support Businesses (11.4%)
No Purpose (10.0%)

The total comes to 235.8% - so the average person selected 2.3 options. Another way to look at it is that more people selected two purposes for contests from the list than selected three.

There are a few possible explanations for why people would only select two options:

The options are broad enough in nature that selecting more than two dilutes the meaning of the response (for example: what are your favorite colors? a response of red, yellow, and blue doesn't provide a deep sense of what the response is supposed to mean other than convey a general sense of 'I like primary colors').
The options are specific enough (possibly too specific, relative to the nature of the question) that only a few appeal to respondents (for instance in response to the question 'Which is/are the best state(s)' having a list of 10 states) The question doesn't say on what basis to decide what's meant by best and there are 40 possibilities that are not allowed as responses.
The number of options available is small enough and the number selectable is large enough that the value of each further selection feels less useful (for instance, selecting 3 out of 25 items is discriminating and gives a sense of thoughtfulness whereas select 3 out 5 items feels nearly random. The chance of randomly selecting those same 3 items out of 25 is extremely low. The odds of picking the same 3 out of 5 randomly is actually 10%. This is somewhat counter-intuitive as a reason for picking fewer items, but may be a contributing factor nonetheless.

In this case, I suspect there is a bit of a combination of the three. I think that the answers offered are diverse enough that if a person picks three they may get a sense of providing a vague response; I think there are also other significant answers which were not available and with no write-in allowed, discouraged picking less satisfactory answers; there may be a sense of there not being enough possible answers to warrant picking 3, thinking that 2 is sufficient.

On to the choices themselves:

One thing stands out. There is a general consensus (more than half of all respondents) that a significant reason for our contests is to provide a gathering place.

Our contests (with all the associated activities) can still only be experienced in real time in the real world. This ability to meet a large number of members of the community in one place at one time seems to resonate strongly with the readers of Leatherati. Contests are an event, like a holiday that encourages a degree of anticipation. The bigger the contest, the greater the degree of buildup. The emotional tension for the contest itself, but more so the opportunity to see, talk to, hold, and physically cruise people that we've been admiring from afar resonates with us at a very visceral level. That passion is hard (if not impossible) to recreate online, so this remains a valuable purpose for our contests even as the internet has grown up around them.

What else can we gather from the phrase 'Gather the tribe' and its clear separation from the other options? Perhaps, that there is a recognition that we are a dispersed people, that we live our lives feeling that distance from one another, and that those events when we can come together is a reinvigorating and vitalizing opportunity. At our contests we have the opportunity to chat over drinks ideas for how to play new fetish toys, talk about the crowd, life with people that we feel a compatibility with. Most of the members of the kink community spend their entire life surrounded by people they cannot share any of their desires or experiences with. Being face to face at a contest offers us the opportunity to share 'war stories' or create new ones in an environment where we can be more comfortable experimenting or simply being the 'us' that we want to be.

Given all the motives behind the expression 'Gather the Tribe' the second highest response of 'Dress Up/Show Off' is not terribly surprising. It's one thing to spend time on line chatting, taking dirty, having a hot jackoff now and again. And, we spend time in our local communities contributing to causes, working, dealing with ordinary life. Our contests offer an escape. Most who travel to a regional or national contest aren't bringing their work with them - it's an opportunity to play hard with new players, to play harder with distant friends, to make an impression. There is something to be said for getting out of one's usual space. Even at a local contest, there is a sense of preening, even for those not competing, putting their best game out there, knowing that there are likely to be new people out and about.
The very same forces that attract us together as a tribe for our contests drive us to push ourselves to stand out. We know that our contests are a mating ground, so we fluff our feathers (proverbially) and our floggers (literally) and make a very deliberate effort to make an impression on those around us.

Still more than one in four thought that our contests serve to honor our heritage. That certainly is exemplified in the continuity that they offer Even as we sit in a proliferation of new contests which serve the two primary roles offered above, we have no small number of contests which have been offered for, at this point, decades. With each year, we add a layer of history, a sense of where our community is at, and where we want it to go. Our contestants work to verse themselves in the legend, lore, and life that has gone before them. That simple process of having hundreds of men and women making a concerted effort to understand those who stood before them so as to fare better before judges, interviews, and novices alike, leaves them all as not just carriers of those traditions, but in a position to help those traditions evolve by adding their own person experience. This is a role served by both our clubs and our contests. But, the key difference is that each individual club has a separate consideration for its own traditions, whereas there is a general impetus for contestants to understand the bigger picture, the history of the leather community at a grander scale.

The range of elements in the middle is interesting primarily in that it splits into two levels: 'Create Leaders', 'Fundraising', and 'Pump Up Egos' with between 20 and 25% support and then a drop to the next two ('Build Bridges', 'Bring in Newbies'), another drop and the final two ('Support Businesses' and 'No Purpose').

What I gather from this information is that is that there isn't any consistency as to the value of contests with regard to these items. Only a few people become standout leader, and likewise a few people get their ego stroked, and generally fundraising is not presented as a significant aspect of contests (often ancillary).
But, it appears that there's a certain degree of agreement that while contests may in fact be an entry point for newbies, they aren't intended to serve that role. We don't generally take specific steps to gear the most visible contests to those who are inexperienced. There are other events (frequently not built around a contest) which are more educationally oriented. Likewise, which there may be overtures made to connect with a wider community, most contests are notable for being geared to a very specific community or subcommunity and as such the perception is that they are more oriented toward preserving the unique qualities of that subculture as opposed to embracing the differentness of other groups. There are certainly those events which make a deliberate attempt to step outside their comfort zone, but I think that's the exception.

The last two items tell a story of their own. That Supporting Business fell so far down the list to me indicates an expectation that contests not be commercial affairs. This is interesting given the extent to which producers endeavor to have commercial business serve as sponsors; the effort involved in putting together vendor markets. Perhaps the message is that in the age of the internet, attendees to contests no longer need the events to find the gear. They can do a simple search and order a leather vest from 3000 miles away as readily as from 30. Not that long ago, contests were a venue at which people would find a new toy or tailor; discover some new kink being displayed as part of a demo scene. This is an area that I feel challenged to analyze. I've seen vendors decide not to show, other new ones appear, old ones come back... I'm not sure whether the nature of purchases at contests has changed. My suspicion is that the urgency to 'buy now' has decreased, that there is more buying going on in advance of major contests rather than as a result of the contests. And for regional events, I'm not sure of any impact either way. But, there is a cost and significant energy involved in showing at a contest. If the motivation for making major purchases at a contest wanes, it will become ever easier for a vendor to simply go and attend the event and show off their toys by playing with them rather than trying to sell them. It becomes a vastly less expensive prospect and they are better able to enjoy the event. This is all supposition, but to my mind it's a thought process that underlies the lack of support for 'Supporting Business' as a motive for contests.

The last point is a very reassuring one to me. That only (1 in 10) selected 'No Purpose' indicates that there is overwhelming support for contests and that whatever purposes they actually do serve, they are worthwhile ones and that we are a richer community for them.

What would I say to a producer as a result of this survey? I would say a) don't focus too much on getting a vendor fair together, perhaps ask vendors to supply some singular interesting item to show off; b) make sure there is ample free time for people to socialize without feeling like they are 'missing something'; c) provide an opportunity for serious, formal, best-behavior gathering; d) look for ways to have an ongoing tradition specifically associated with your event which provides a sense of continuity and heritage.

Our contests continue to be a vital part of our community, offering a wide array of motives for participation and production. They are a gauge by which we can measure a communities degree of continuity and integration with the greater environment. They offer an unparalleled environment in which to meet people face-to-face from outside our home turf.
Some questions I would ask of people reading this analysis:

Do you shop at contest vendor markets? What makes you open your wallet?
Do you see value in finding a way to integrate the real-world experience of a contest with the convenience of online internet interaction?
Do you treat going to a contest like a vacation? If so, what do you do outside the scheduled activities of the event?
How often do you buy something new to take to a contest?

I admit, for me, I love the pomp and circumstance, the opportunity to dress up in seriously hot gear, stand a little taller, and draw some attention. I also love the opportunity to take some raw sexual energy and share it with someone new. This year, going to a significant number of contests around the country and beyond, I have been invigorated by the men I've met and played with. I've been delighted by the men and women I've dined with and I've been very much amused by the antics of boys and the play of men pushing the bounds of decorum in public spaces. I return home after a contest exhausted, but then wondering how long it will be before I get to head out to the next one.

That's me, Alex Lindsay, American Leatherman 2009, On The Spot, for Leatherati.com.

Travel travail

2010-01-15T10:31:00.001-08:00

Okay...really not that big of a travail. I love Virgin America. No issues there. I want to fly virgin all the time. But. A red eye is still a red eye and coach is still coach. My words of wisdom. If you want to be able to party of Friday night, don't red-eye Thursday night. Especially not if your flying eastward.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Waiting to board

2010-01-14T21:51:00.001-08:00

A fleet of TSA agents in bright blue have shown up at our gate in anticipation of boarding. Not the hottest uniform, but a really great blue. Could definitely be a hot uniform on he right agent.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mr Regiment 2010

2009-11-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

I am at a loss for words. A year has come and gone. And what a year it's been. So much has happened. And I have changed quite a bit. There are things that are the same and things that are almost unrecognizable.

One thing I am certain of...this will go down for me as one of the most amazing years in my life. I had been very reticent to even run for the title of Mr Regiment. A long time ago in a country far far away (also known as San Francisco, 1996-ish), I ran for Leather Daddy's boy. Loren and I had just met, he had just won Leather Daddy, and wanting to prove myself, I ran - even though I was terrified of competing. And I came in first runner up. I was disappointed in not having won, but not so much that when the contest rolled around the following year, I ran again. And...once again, I came in 1st runner up. I was really hurt by that. I was surprised how much so. I vowed I was never going to run for another contest.

As I moved from 30 to 35. And from 35 on to 40, Loren constantly would tell me how with each year I get more handsome and more confident. I realized at age 40, that the experience of being a titleholder was one of those 'stories' that I didn't want to get to the end of my life and regret not having shot for. I decided that the time was right.

Loren's and my relationship has grown and changed over the years, and we both realized that I needed an opportunity to be more than simply his boy. He encouraged me to run if I wanted to, and that he would support me with however I wanted to pursue it.

I looked at the various titles in the Los Angeles Leather series and decided very quickly on the Mr Regiment title to run for. I was a member of the California B&B, so I already had an affinity got uniforms, and given the different personalities of the different titles, I felt that Mr Regiment would be a good fit. Upstanding, clean cut, but with an irreverent, mischievous, 'you can take me home to mother, just don't tell her what we did last night' sort of title. And, I figured, if I lost, I would have a few months to get over it before I could try for another one as a fallback. Although I knew...given my past, if I hadn't won, I probably would not have.

I have two key memories of competing for Mr Regiment 2009. The first was finding out as I was dressing for the Formal Wear section (first part) that we would have to give a 90 second speech. I had been surprised that I wasn't going to have to given the contestant notes made no mention of a speech, so I hadn't prepared anything.

With literally 90 seconds notice I headed out on stage for formal wear and my spontaneously generated commentary on fetish, gear, and bringing sex back into our public events.

I have always had a fear of public speaking, and stage fright as well, but somehow, I started talking and just simply addressed the audience. And...I felt good doing it - that or the adrenaline had me loopy LOL.

The other memorable moment was the final section - the jockstrap portion. Loren got me nicely fluffed backstage, and being the rubber perve that I am, we put about 15 silicone o-rings around my cock and balls. I was so hard I couldn't get my codpiece snapped down. I went out on stage and worked the stage while Mike Gerle (our emcee and IML 2007) read my fantasy. As he got toward the end, I yanked off my codpiece entirely and sprang forth with well...enthusiasm. There is nothing quite so memorable as leaving either an emcee or an IML speechless, during a public event. Mike picked back up and said without too much of a break "This is my absolute favorite contest ever."

As is probably apparent from the title of this blog...I did win Mr Regiment.

My experience as Mr Regiment has entailed continuing to be involved in various club activities, preparing for Los Angeles Leather, helping with various fundraising events, being visible and supportive and other events, taking on the challenge of organizing, producing events of my own and one of my favorite activities (even though it's one of the hardest for me) reaching out to those who have yet to become knit into the fabric of our community.

For me, having this title has offered me the opportunity, the role, which made it easier for me to break out of my shell, enjoy being more visible, it helped me discover my sexy playful side, and share it with others, it helped me learn how to ask others for help (something I still have a hard time doing), it made it easier for me to realize that I have a place in this community not just for now, but for the future, and tha I can make of that what I will.

Some things are not unlike they were a year ago. I am still fiercely loyal to my husband Loren; I am still involved in a variety of activities for a variety of clubs (I still have trouble saying no); I am still not very aggressive about seeking out sexual play, but still very mischievous when I find it. I still don't enjoy self-promotion and I still have a hard time volunteering as much as I think I ought to.

I have made friends I might never have met otherwise. I have deepened relationships with people who might never have been more than acquaintances. I have learned that sometime people really do want to hear what I have to say and really enjoy seeing photos of me dressed up or dressed down - and I've learned to enjoy that appreciation, but not to drown in it or become self-absorbed. I have shared what skills I have with those who have asked me to, and I have opened myself to being more open to asking others to share what they know with me.

I know at this point I have gone on way too long but it is my soap box, and you're not chained down, although I would definitely get into it if you were ;-) So just a wee bit more.

As I said above, my focus this year has been on bringing kink and fetish back to the surface. I hope that in your interactions with me, you've been turned on, whether by me, by my gear, or by my playfulness is fine by me. Heaven knows I've been turned on by you, your gear, and your playfulness. We are leathermen and leatherwomen or as I prefer - kinkmen and kinkwomen. Next time you head out to a bar, club, or event (or heck, even to the movies) wear your kink! Put on some leather pants, weat tall boots to work, bring a flogger to the movies. Make people raise their eyebrows, ask questions, take notice of you.

Have some fun, treat people well, do good deeds, and live today like it's a precious gift.

Thank you to the many people who have been especially supportive and encouraging this past year. I have more to say to you elsewhere and elsewhen.

Brad Taylor was selected as Mr Regiment 2010 on November 13, 2009. I wish him as wonderful a year ahead as mine has been behind and will do everything in my power to ensure that it is.

With gratitude, appreciation, and humility,
Alex Lindsay
Mr Regiment 2009
American Leatherman 2009

A weekend Home-ish

2009-10-17T14:47:00.001-07:00

Friday Night

SoCal Bondage Club

The SoCal Bondage Club monthly meeting and party was friday night. We had a great turnout. I took the first shift as Dungeon Monitor. Lots of play going on, good music, some socializing, but nobody intruding on scenes. A hot suspension scene from the metal scaffolding using the powered winches.
Loren had a bondage buddy of ours in our leather straitjacket and hood, and we put the metal chastity cage on him, much to his frustration and delight. I then discovered that he was in a particularly ticklish state of being, which I couldn't help but take advantage of. If there's one thing I've discovered in the past year, it's that I am a relentless tickling top. I really get off on how much is makes a guy tied up in bondage squirm and squeal. Anything ranging from the very delicate stroking of the inside of one's thighs to the alternating between sides of the neck with a poking touch to the full on rib-tickle assault it's all good.

Saturday night

We got down to San Diego with a few hours to spare. We decided rather than driving down and back, that we'd make a mini trip out of it. Loren looked for an inexpensive option for a hotel room near Hillcrest. He ran across the Sunburst Court Inn, which was rather convenient and quite inexpensive. Apparently it had been an apartment building in a previous life. The room was spacious, with 1 bedroom with a king size bed, large bath, dining area, living room, and full kitchen.

Martinis Above Fourth

We arrived a few hours before the event, so that we'd be able to get in dinner and an 'adult bevvie' to start the evening off nicely. Lor did a search for 'martini food hillcrest' and out popped Martinis Above Fourth. I had a vodka Lime Drop and Loren tried a gin martini with muddled cucumber. The martinis are definitely worth the awards they've received.
We decided to have a bite to eat at the bar - a delicious beef carpaccio, and a dreadfully sinful take on mac n' cheese - penne pasta swimming in cheese in a baking dish which was about a thousand degrees centigrade. We had finished our drinks before we were done eating, so we shared a dessert martini - a TangerTini - yummy! and chatted with the owner of the bar and a couple of the bartenders.
Dave, the owner, was really cool, and very friendly - we chatted about the restaurant experience, and some of his experiments with martini tasters and such like, and we learned that he's a member of a triad relationship. One which has been going on for about 15 years! I was amazed and intrigued. A fascinating story, and another example of a stable poly relationship. Still not something I'll rush into, but still something we're open to if it happens down the line...

We also enjoyed talking to Khara behind the bar, who's not been in San Diego for that long. After a lot of arm twisting and cajoling, we talked her into meeting us at the Hole for the event later. By the way, the iPhone camera is not to be relied on for taking photos in bars. Ever. The photo on the right is what I had to settle for after a fair amount of playing with it in the GIMP. I just don't have the time to do more. Except remember to bring the camera...with the flash...

The Butch Revue

The Butch Revue has been produced for the past 12 years by Annie Romano of San Diego. At American Brotherhood Weekend, I asked each of the judges if there was a particular event that they would like to see me at. Annie told me about the Butch Revue at that point, and it was my first official commitment as ALM to come down to San Diego for it. It's a typical revue, with comedy, singing, and lip syncing, which we had the expectation of being performed by Drag Kings. Not all the performers were Drag Kings, but the event was no less fun and enjoyable for it.

Annie's already said that next year's event will be a particularly special one as it's the 13th one for her, and she has a special love for the number 13. So stay tuned and be ready for another fun night this time next year.

Sunday

California B&B Hangout at the Bullet

This week was the 41st anniversary of the California B&B and it commenced with a get together and hang out at the Bullet in North Hollywood.
The Bullet offered up a Sunday feast of hamburgers, hot dogs, beer, booze and boys to serve as a great place for a great bunch of guys (and a couple of friends of guys-aka women) to hang out in uniform or just hang out.
It was a really fun and relaxing end to a great weekend.

Leather is as Leather Does or is it...?

2009-09-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

This month brought to mind one of the questions that I find my self pondering now and again. Which leather is it anyway? We talk about leather-thegear, and we talk about leather-the community, and the two are not always in sync with one another.
Why this month? Because I had the pleasure of participating in one and coproducing another rubber event. On two adjacent weekends, the Hotlanta Rubber Group and West Coast Rubber offered the Mister Southeast Rubber/Hotlanta Rubberman in Atlanta and the West Coast Rubber weekend in Los Angeles. If you haven't tried playing in rubber, you really ought to. It's one of the sexiest things you can wear, and whatever your body type, it will only make you look better, and feel better. Whether you like tight gear, or loose, there is rubber gear that will fit you the way you want your sextire to fit. It is just simply hot hot hot!
Do I sound like a rubberman to you? It's funny, at each of the contests I have run for Mr. Regiment, Los Angeles Leather, and American Leatherman, I was asked effectively the same question: "Are you a leatherman or a rubberman?" This is the source of the questions I asked above. Why must I be either? If the leather community is defined by what we wear and that requires leather gear, are people who wear denim included or excluded? It's interesting how people will talk about inclusiveness in the leather community until they meet someone who wears a different fetish.
As it happens, I am involved in organizations that gear themselves toward no less than five different fetishes/kinks: leather, bondage, bdsm, rubber, uniforms. Am I not a Leatherman because I have these various interests? Then why ask me if I am one at a contest. It's also interesting that we have many who define Leather as including these various kinks, but then gasp if you should express them in the context of a leather contest. Can International Mister Leather ONLY wear leather? Can American Leatherman never wear a uniform?
It's particularly interesting that we seem, as a community to make exceptions for uniforms, and not perceive them as less Leathery than leather, yet, should someone wear a rubber uniform in a leather contest, he or she is immediately disregarded as not being appropriately attired.
My personal opinion is that we shouldn't be talking about the 'leather' community. It has too many constraints which inhibit its reasonable use. It is often perceived as referring only to gay men, frequently not including women in the process. It often excludes those who have other gear fetish pleasures. And, it often creates a wall between those who are BDSM players from those who are simply into gear sex.
This is why I created OpenKink with no specific reference to leather or any other kind of gear or specific type of activity. Kink generally does not have a close association with sexual orientation, and it embraces gear and play together and separately.
Is a bar a leather bar if all the patrons are in jeans and t-shirts? Is a man a leatherman if he never wears leather but throws the wickedest whip west of Wyoming?
Think about it...

First Travel Story...

2009-08-27T14:48:00.001-07:00

So, I was in a frenzy yesterday and today getting things straightened out so that I could head out of town for my first trip out of the LA area as ALM09. I'm headed off to Atlanta for the beginning of a couple of weeks of rubbery goodness with the Mr SouthEast Rubber weekend this weekend and contest and then back here in Los Angeles for the West Coast Rubber event and contest next weekend.

Anyhow, so I got my code pretty stable on our development and staging servers (yeah, geek by profession). In a frenzy of packing late last evening/this morning (thank you to my savior and husband, Loren) I managed to get out the door, get to the office (since today had to be the day I got the email saying my email inbox was full, and I wasn't able to log on to my work computer remotely to empty it) and get to Burbank airport with just over 45 minutes to spare. I got my bag checked - 50.0 pounds exactly (Woo hoo) and just after grabbing my mentos for the flight discovered that they had started boarding.

I got on the plane, and wandered all the way to the next to last row for my window seat, only to discover that in the row right in front of me is a woman with a small child and a lap-toddler. Both of the kids are somewhat restless, but not too bad. The young boy wants to sit in another row by himself. The flight attendant informs the woman that if the baby is going to sit in her lap she needs to sit on the other side of the plane because they have three oxygen masks over the two seats rather than just two like on the left side of the plane (this is something I had never thought about before). So they move to the other side. As they do so, I discover they guy who was about to sit there (now sitting in front of me) has a small dog in a carrier with him. Oh goody...

The plane is just about full, the flight attendant tells the boy that he can sit next to her if he likes. On comes the captain, indicating that we need to close all of our blinds cause the plane will heat up really quickly, and oh yeah, we're going to start bringing some bags onto the plane, since from a flight balance standpoint the count more under the aircraft than above the wings (I get the physics of it, makes sense, but I'm wondering, ummm why...this isn't exactly a puddle jumper). So, it turns out the runway at atmosphere are just hot enough that we're too heavy for liftoff. Apparently every six bags they can get up above in the overeheads means one less person that will need to be bumped. I think two people volunteered to leave the plane.

I'm sitting there, wondering, "Ummm.... US Airways, guys, it's late August. HOT IS NORMAL! Why did you book the craft so full that you'd have to bump people?" So, this goes on for about 35 minutes. The captain comes on saying that they are going to start strapping luggage into the empty seats. Now I'm thinking, "boy, isn't the picture of modern capitalism at it's finest, let's cram so many people into the craft that we have to dump some, and then shove some luggage in with the people to 'balance the plane'. I can just see someone going back to a third world country saying 'man, in America, they put the baggage with the people'." But seriously, so much for systems intelligence. August = heat = put fewer people in small aircraft = no complaints or delays.

Again, after about 35 minutes of this (it's now 1:12 for our 12:44 departure...clock is ticking on my Phoenix transfer), the captain comes back on the PA and says..."well folks, I know this day isn't turning out to be fun for you..." I could hear the "you know you'll laugh about this at someday" coming, having an inkling of where this is going. Mind you, the hottest time of day is usually between 2 and 3pm in the summer...

He continued "...but, it turns out, after we got all that weight shuffled, we had to check back in with traffic control, and, well, the temperature on the runway went up a degree while we were working. What that means is that, well, we're going to have to take off another 1700 pounds. A woman just getting off the plane has said to me that we're making everybody anxious. Let me tell you folks, we are well within our engineering safety margins for flying, but we need to make sure we have no questions about being able to get up off the runway."

I immediately grabbed my laptop and got up, knowing that they were going to have to bump 8-10 people, and that while they were figuring that out, I was definitely going to miss my connection in Phoenix. Got to the gate agent, adn discovered that the next options out for me is the red eye. But I got a $300 travel voucher.

So here I am, at my desk, at home, working, rather than sitting in Pheonix waiting for a red-eye all by myself.

And when you've got a national or international title, you'll do just about anything for a plane ticket ;-)

A weekend at the bars...

2009-08-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

This was a stay-in-town weekend. The weekend kicked off with Loren and me going to the Eagle for his first event as Mr. Golden Leather 2009, Daddy Meat. Dancing go-go daddies, a cigar boy, definitely a busy night for those looking for fun at the Eagle. It was fun seeing him working the title, and me just being there chattin' and socializin'. Although, I did work the door for an hour and a half.

I have to say, as a sidenote, that I really don't like working door at bar events. It's not so bad when it's a cover, although even then sometimes people hassle you. I just am amazed, when you ask for a donation, and people will sort of sniff at you and walk on by. The Eagle is particularly tricky, cause it's not normally a cover, so people aren't used to getting told to pay to enter, rather than being asked to make a contribution. Just one of those things. I keep a smile on my face and keep the energy up.

A good crowd showed up, but was shaken loose a litle early by the DJ announcing repeatedly that parking enforcement was towing cars to start getting things set up for Sunset Junction.

***

Saturday, we managed to sneak in a matinee showing of District 9. I quite enjoyed it. My impression was that it was conceived of as a mashup of Kafka's Metamorphosis set against a documentary peek at apartheid in South Africa using the common element of aliens to tie the two together. Quite well executed, it left me curious to see what they'll do with a sequel. And there'll almost certainly be a sequel.

Saturday night was my monthly event at the Bullet Bar in Norht Hollywood, HAWT GEAR. My goal is to bring back the classic leather bar, with a modern slant. Heavy push on fetish gear, encouraging play in the bar, dark atmosphere, hot porn on the vid, steamy music over the speakers. Michael and Dan at the Bullet have been amazing in supporting the event. I had started it out on a Thursday, because I didn't want to interfere with the regular weekend crowd. After the first month, Michael suggested that he'd be open to moving it to a Saturday if I wanted to do that.

Last night, the crowd was simply amazing. Seriously seriously hot! I can't help but feel like it was exactly the sort of night I was working to put together. Guys from the Bondage Club, Avatar, Band of Brothers, the B&B uniform club, the B&Ts uniform club. Guys from as far as Ventura and Orange County came out. Even a guy visiting from Albuquerque came out in a rubber catsuit—schwing! And gear, gear, gear! Rubber, leather, uniforms, skin gear, even an auto racing pilot suit. Bondage, paddling, chest punching - guys were playing here and there in the bar all evening.

If you came out for it, thank you for being hot and coming out. If you didn't—you missed a helluva fun bar night, and I'll hope to see you next month.

***

Last thought for the evening. A guilty admission. After bar nights and dungeon parties, I, more often than not, stop at Yum Yum donuts with Loren on the way home for a cinnamon roll. That'll have to stop if I don't get back to the gym fast!

An Evening with Guy Baldwin

2009-08-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening I had the pleasure of sitting with the Los Angeles Band of Brothers (and a few special guests) for a Q&A with Guy Baldwin.

Amongst the many words that can be used to describe Mr. Baldwin, one that comes to mind is expansive. Not surprising, given his background in psychology and experience as an author. Guy did not have a simple answer to any question of the evening. And that was a splendid experience. All too often we find ourselves looking for how to say what we mean to express in as few words as possible, often distorting the personality and color of our perspective in the process.

Guy is a consummate raconteur. Each response a stroll through his experience, opinion, philosophy or personal history. I found myself with question after question at the ready, wanting the conversation to continue for far longer than was possible.

From my first question of the evening asking him about when he found himself at his lowest in his relationship with the leather community to the afterchat and book signings, Guy's fluidity matched the voice I've heard over the years in all his writings.

My parting comment to him was a reflection of my experience with running for and winning a title: that there was a time not that long ago when I could never have imagined actually speaking to Guy Baldwin; that with achieving the title (and all the background that is implied in having done so), I not only have had the opportunity to meet him, but have the hope of being able to have a further friendship with him, and have a stronger degree of comfort and hope of being able to someday serve in a similar capacity for a subsequent generation of leathermen.

He expressed to us that it was a special evening for him in that in all the interviews he'd given over the years, he hadn't had the opportunity to have one with a roomful of titleholders. That we are the closest things he has to children.

I hadn't truly realized the extent to which his presence had played a role in my development as a budding leatherman so many years ago until last night, both directly and indirectly.

Staying in touch....

2009-08-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well...I've always known myself to be a horrible correspondent, and I appear to be batting 1000 with my blog. So, I will, rather than making a big deal about it, simply keep on posting, and work toward making a habit of it.

Beginning at the Middle

2009-07-20T18:44:00.000-07:00

It seems appropriate to begin this blog at what can only be described by me as the middle.

Competing for, and winning, the title of American Leatherman has left me feeling that I have drawn a line in my life. Before this experience (and it is larger than simply this weekend), I was a guy, with a past; a member of the leather/kink community. I participated, helped, contributed, but maintained a certain...reticence...about being more active. As I step across the line, I see myself as a man, with a future; still a member of the community, but no longer simply a follower and contributor. I truly feel that I have been transformed.

I know that the contest is as much a symptom of changes I've been going through as it is a source, but either way, it will forever be one of those defining moments in my life.

Even this simple act of putting my thoughts out there in public is a significant change for me. Let's see where this goes... There's certainly more to come.